Fitness

5 things NOT TO DO in a gym

How to behave in a gym
From, a high end gym working professional

RULE #1: I’M SWEATNIG AND PANTING, NO TIME TO TALK!
Don’t approach women and attempt to start up conversation while they’re on any piece of equipment…unless you look like Bradley Cooper. Dear Mr. coming my way. I see you in my periphery. Even though my head is hanging, I’m frowning and my shoulders are slumped, you keep coming toward me. My inner dialogue is, “don’t talk to me, don’t talk to me, don’t talk to me.” Yet, you insist! WHY?!!!! I’m sweaty, red faced, out of breath and trying to workout. Please, no. There will be no “us,” sir.
*Full disclosure. I met my husband at a gym. He said hi to me and I ignored him. Perfect start to our marriage.

RULE #2: YOUR SWEAT SHOULD BE ON YOU, NO ONE ELSE… JUST YOU!
The unthinkable happened last week. A hairy, sweaty arm brushed against mine eliciting my involuntary, aggressive, quite audible ROAR followed by an eye roll and dramatic wipe off with my clean towel. There isn’t enough soap or hot water to scrub away that feeling. WHY??!! How could this have happened to me?!! I am SO careful about where I’m working out in relation to others. This Mr. needed these rules read to him, stat.

RULE #3: STOP SLAMMING YOUR WEIGHTS!
Ahhh yes, the familiar sounds of grunting, snorting, heavy breathing, and panting followed by KA-BOOOOOOM! Cue the awkward silence, eye rolling, and general disbelief that any adult needs attention that badly. Dear Mr. I-took-too-much-protein-powder-mixed-with-creatine-this-morning, we understand you are trying to blow off some steam, but come on?! Does that process have to scare the living s&%t out of everyone else in the gym?

RULE #4. DON’T TALK TO ME WHILE I’M NAKED!
In the locker room, it is NEVER OK to strike up a conversation while completely undressed or partially undressed. I don’t know where to look. And staring straight into someone’s eyes for too long makes me the creepy one. Let’s be real, this isn’t Europe. We are not ready for boobs in our face while talking about carpool pickup or the hot new restaurant that just opened.

RULE #5: WIPE YOUR SWEATY MARKS OFF THE BENCH!
I understand that on a microbial level, a simple wipe of the leather won’t eliminate my risk of catching whatever bacterial contagion your excretions carry, but, I’d just rather not HAVE TO SIT IN IT! Please, please, please, be a decent person and wipe it off.

 

 

2 Comments

Teaser time!

Pilates is life changing!  Pilates is a total body workout that strengthens and stretches muscles simultaneously.  No other workout does that!  I’m a big fan and have been teaching just under 10 years.  A friend gifted me a session for a birthday and I was instantly hooked.  I sought out a local training program and so it began.   Here’s a clip to help improve your “teaser.”  Happy sweating!

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Workout inspiration

Everything changes after a baby including making time for yourself and especially for exercise.  Exercising is, by far, my favorite hobby.  I’m lucky in that I work at a beautiful health club, but I want to leave it once I’ve worked a full day.  I’ve begun to block out hours for myself at work that are dedicated to my own fitness goals.  By being better organized, I feel like I have permission to take that hour for myself.  How do you fit exercise into your week?IMG_20160224_124025

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New Year’s Resolutions

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  1.  Plank – either on your elbows or palms – hold it until you shake and then hold it some more.
  2. The 100 – a classical Pilates exercise designed to warm up the entire body – lie supine – extend your legs to 45 degrees or lower – curl your chin to your chest and vigorously pump your arms up and down by your hips for 10 sets of 10 (that equals 100 ) 🙂
  3. Push – ups – either on your knees or legs straight out, hands under shoulders, bend your arms and take your chest as low as you can get back up  & repeat!
  4. Take a walk – I don’t mean a saunter, I mean a brisk (if even for 10 minute) walk –  your heart will thank you and it will clear your mind.
  5. Squat – stand flat again the wall and squat down – hug your ribs to the wall and hold until it burns and then hold it some more.

Good luck!

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